Providing Effective Records and Information Management Solutions

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50 West Dayton Street
Pasadena, CA 91105
voice: 626.795.7117
fax: 626.795.7373

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At Ictus Consulting, we try and see the humorous side of things. Over the years, we've come across some interesting records, and some whose names—when given a little thought—were just plain funny.

We thought we'd share with you some of the "gems" we've run across as well as some other things that make you go hmmmmmmm... And if you've run across something that strikes your funny bone, let us know at

Some of Our Favorite Record Titles
  • ILL Bills Paid (Inter-Library Loan records, research library)
  • News Flash - old issues (utility district)
  • Trash Talks (utility district)
  • Concrete Abstract (cement industry newsletter)
  • The Haunted Files (movie studio)
  • Emergency Valve Exercise Program (utility district)
  • Bewitched Budget Reports (movie studio)
  • Boring Logs (oil company)
  • Briefs (law firm)
  • Dam Records (governmental water management agency)
  • Monthly Fish Count Reports (governmental water resource agency)
  • Bottle Files (wine producer / distributor)
Some of Our Favorite Job Titles
  • Dead File Clerk (Archivist)
  • Absentee Supervisor (municipality, voter registration)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used ONLY for company business." (Accounting Manager, Electric Boat Company)

If you've had it with PowerPoint presentations, you may be interested in this: it's the Gettysburg address in PowerPoint. This link was in a recent Fortune magazine article entitled "Friends Don't Let Friends Use PowerPoint." Something is terribly wrong.


For Liberal Arts majors (like B. Nye)

—The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
—The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
—The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
—The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

For Music majors (like C. Nunes)

A young child says to her mother, "Mom, when I grow up I think I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well, honey, you know you can't do both."
Notable Quotes
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. (Wernher von Braun in 1958)
The palest ink is better than the best memory. (Chinese proverb)
Knowledge without wisdom is like a load of books on the back of an ass. (Japanese proverb)
Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. (Marcus Tullius Cicero [106-43 BC])
Write the bad things that are done to you in the sand, but write the good things that happen to you on a piece of marble. (Arabian wisdom)
Standards are like toothbrushes—everyone agrees they're a good thing, but no one wants to use somebody else's.
Library: A place where the dead lie. (Elbert Hubbard, author, 1856-1915)

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